Almost all of my school essays are unreadable shit, lol. Even without factoring in how I still am not really big into writing (though I'm trying to get better at this with my web-space cause' we all need to help bring 2000s web culture back), more often than not, they were rushed out the door and vomited out to the teacher due to a deadline I procrastinated on. I specifically remember how I just threw sentences together into a coherent mass at 11PM and hoping they're enough to hit the required word count, then throwing it all into Grammarly and only doing whatever that clankershit software told me to fix, then throwing it back into the document editor and fumbling with the Canvas software, Google Classroom, or Turnitin just in the nick of time. Even though I've received passing grades for most of them, since I made sure that they were technically finished and met the teacher's requirements, they are stilted at best, and mostly boring as shit reads only a teacher would want to read.
Most of them weren't as memorable as one essay I've written for 8th-grade Civics class, though, but that is because it might be one of the shittiest essays that I've written in my entire life. For context, the teacher held a Mock Congress, where we would write a US House/Senate Bill, then we would vote on them as if we were Congressmen. Although the writing process was smoother than with other essays up to this point, I spent just one night researching and writing this bill before turning it in, and I especially have not taken the time to proof-read more than just the minor grammatical errors. My classmates easily voted this down, not necessarily because they were right-wing (since there were still many progressive students and teachers in my school, even when the county itself is solid Republican), but because who the fuck would vote for this authoritarian shit? This is what leaders in countries like Turkmenistan and Eritrea would do, not a (deeply flawed) Democratic Republic that at least pretends to not go so ham on its citizens. Moreover, why the fuck would you try to crack down on literal gun-owners? You're ending up like human swiss cheese with a hefty side of red mist and brain chunks. Needless to say, you would not want this shit anywhere near DC no matter your position, but it's been really fun seeing just how bad it was as an adult, and I feel that it would also be entertaining for you to laugh at. X3
"Hello, members of the House of Representatives. I am Lemon Heep of the House of Representatives from the state of Arizona. I served the past year in the House of Representatives advocating for Racial Equality, the Environment, and Immigration. I’m planning a bill supporting gun control. The bill would restrict people from owning guns if they fail psychological background checks and pre-existing conditions that are unsuitable.
My bill would enforce extensive background checks on a potential gun owner getting his gun license. They will be evaluated based on their training process, security from guns, gun education, personality, mental health issues, and criminal background. This bill would benefit American society and its safety. Firstly, the amount of mass shootings would decline in the country. Secondly, the number of gun related killings would also decrease to the level of other countries with gun control. Thirdly, the amount of suicides also decrease as the amount of gun deaths decline. Lastly, gun ownership overall is safer, more secure, and more controlled. However, if my bill fails to pass and become a law, America would still be very affected from gun violence. Gun deaths would continue at a high rate in the country. Also, many citizens aren’t secure and safe enough with an uncontrolled gun market. Ultimately, the bill would positively affect the nation as a whole if it passes.
My bill enforcing gun control from gun licenses would be used like this. Once my bill is passed, current gun owners will be enforced an extensive test on a government facility and will be given a gun license if they pass or be confiscated their guns and pay 10 percent of their income if they fail the test. The gun license would allow current gun owners to keep their guns or allow new owners to buy guns. The bill would be paid for from the money of confiscated gun owners and possibly cost more than $10 billion if enforced.
The Department of Justice and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives will pass the gun control law. They will enforce this law by converting background test facilities over state capitals. Gun owners would be called in over time on the phone to be tested for the gun license. If a citizen possesses any guns without a license, they would be violating this law. If this is their first offense, their current guns would be confiscated, be charged with five percent of their income, and spend six months in jail. This punishments repeats with more offenses. The bill would help U.S. Citizens and especially shooting victims by preventing future gun related incidents. Over 30,000 victims per year from gun related deaths would be prevented from this bill. The arguments for passing the bill include lower gun deaths and safer gun ownership. Opponents of the bill argue it isn’t a good idea because the bill violates the Second Amendment, cannot prevent gun violence, and cannot reduce all gun deaths. However, the bill doesn’t stop everyone from bearing arms. Also, other foreign countries have lower gun related deaths from passing gun control laws. My bill if passed starts December 1, 2019 and will eventually benefit the country.
To summarize, the bill would give gun licenses to citizens who pass background checks. This bill is worthwhile because it saves lives from gun related incidents and supports a safer country. For these reasons, vote yes on Background checks for gun ownership. Factual evidence includes BBC graphs, and articles from The Guardian, TIME, NBC, and the Associated Press. Thank you members of the House of Representatives for your opinion and vote of this bill."